Sunday, February 28, 2010

twentyfour.

i missed an entry again.
its hard to do when you go out.
(theres the clue for what this entry will be about)
so i will start with saturday.
woke up much too early to go to work.
had a 6hour shift.
filled with the extreme fun of selling t-shirts.
1200 dollars later, i had touched way too many uniforms.
but, i suppose it was worth it?
drove from work to yarraville.
the drive was crazy.
traffic = herroundous.
i hate burwood road with a passion.


rehearsals were... not that great.
but i pray i will be better next time.
and by pray i mean, i will ensure i will be.
intense pressure, considering how amazing everybody else is.
i wish.
ahwell.

considering i was in the area, i drove to my old house.
which is now on sale.
crazy.
really want to go to the auction and open day.
i miss that house muchly. yet i know we could never still live there.
such nostalgia.
the park is so different.
slightly upsetting. but i suppose thats the teen in me.
hating change.
strange considering compared to 4months ago
my life could not be more different.
if you had asked me then, if this is where i would be.
i don't think i could have or would have believed it.
hard to determine if this is a good or bad thing though.
so i couldn't, or wouldn't see it coming.
doesn't mean where i am is worse than where i was.
funny, because this is better.
how could it not be?
i'm actually happy. and not stressed with year 12. and life.
but yet, the small part of me misses the comfort.
best thing?
i know it will come back.
and it will be better this time.
:-)

mm that was a big aside.
back to my day, that is saturday.

drove home.
little miss bob met me at home.
grand.
we had some pre-drinks and spent hours picking my outfit.
okay, not hours.
but was still rather girly, changing plans. x 20million.
had pre-drinks.
had dinner.
played guitar hero - 'cause we could.
had slutty photos with the mirror. (including todays feature. haha)
always the best.
ended up waiting 20mins for a tram.
frustrating? yes.
finally made it to the lion.
birthday funtimes for somebody i don't have a codename for.
dancing.drinking.laughing.
fun.

cynic. legs. afro.
were already there.
fun.
ranga and india met us later.
chilled in the awesomeness of the lion.
found a random room i've never seen before.
called the library.
entertaining to say the least :-)
don't know what the coaster did.
but it definitely got sentenced to death.
poker met with us also.
after cynic and legs had left.
so together there were 4 guys. 2 girls.
not a bad ratio.
headed out from the lion at about 2.
headed to cookie?/the toff.
okay - seriously loud. dark. and so much smoke.
if i hadn't known any better i would say robert coates was there.
note for the reader: some activites are difficult when you are inhaling dry ice.
keep this in mind.
we definitely all waited outside the bathroom for poker
to then discover 20mins later he was gone.
distressing? a little.
left club.
found poker and afro had definitely left because the bouncer said "the fuzzy one and the short fat one? they were here" - in a new zealand accent. definitely made the night.
well ALMOST.
i think the quote of the evening was probably
"yes well india, who gets to sleep with Sarah tonight?"
"sloppy seconds. *pause* what did she say?"
a large amount of laughter was caused.
however i say this because it wasn't on purpose.
i hope.

once we had left we ended up walking the city for fun.
cold. very cold.
thank god for shared body warmth.
and stealing/being given a shirt ^_^
ran into another friend.
seriously the number of times this happens between 3 - 4 on swanston street is a bit crazy.
went to maccas
as one always does.
ranga got a cone.
sat trying to think of places to go.
eventually just got on the night rider home.
upsetting. wanted a later night.
4am.
said goodbye to india and ranga who just missed their bus.
the rest of us squished on to our bus.
crazy number of people.
freezing on the bus.
standing, thought i would not be able to stay standing.

quote off the bus
"females should not be bus drivers"
well - this one definitely shouldn't be.
got home about 4.30.
bob and i shared the bed.
afro slept on the floor beside my bed.
all in all a pretty good night.
no complaints from me anyways.
except, maybe it could be a bit warmer next time?
realized its the last time i will be out for summer.
how upsetting summer is over.
i love summer.
woke this afternoon at about 1.20?
i had been awake previously
as afro and bob left.
but mostly just rolled over.
i'm a great friend :P
ever since i have...
updated this blog.
fed my facebook fish.
peeled potatoes.
cleaned my room.
changed my uni timetable.
facebook stalked.
ate some toast.
thats probably it.
have a headache. think i need caffeine.
such a uni student already.
am extremely excited. but also nervous about tomorrow.
first day of uni.
need to actually do things? apparently.
how. odd. :P
don't want to.
i enjoyed 3 months of nothing.
finished sooner than i thought.
ironic considering the first month of summer couldn't have been any worse/slow taking.
these last two though - well. :-)
dn't know which is worse?
thats a lie.

i do.

well - that is all.
need to go help make dinner.
"back it up now.
you got a reason to live
say i dont wanna be in
love
i dont wanna be in love"

[i dont wanna be in love. good charlotte]





the end.

Friday, February 26, 2010

twentythree.

i probably actually missed 23.
but thats okay.
this will do.
sorry for those readers who were sad i didnt write an entry.

thursday. was. an interesting day.
uni was kind of pointless.
joined clubs and stuff.
hung around with some cool people.
enjoyed the prospect of meeting new people.
convinced a group of people that south africa and i were lifelong friends.
funny.


went to work.
hmmm.
interesting.
is that a bad response to give? i don't know.
was, better in a lot of ways.

texted a lot.
answered a phone call even.
spent four hours in the same room as somebody else and was fine.
yay :-)
but that wasn't the interesting parts of thursday. if anybody cared.


went out thursday night.
dancer, sister, germany and i to begin with.
headed off to a friends birthday. at a club.
one six one.
was a grand night.

pre - drinks at mine after work.
funsies.
crazy activities to prepare ourselves for the night ahead.
funny quotes began already
"my first time, i had no idea what i was doing, i had no idea where to put it" - germany


"sarah you have a mesmorising walk..."
"you're just staring at her dancers butt"
"you really have lost a lot of weight"
"what did you say in the message again? 'fuck you **** i'm a babe <3'">

=]

- this conversation took place on the way TO the tram.
potentially the drunkest we all were for the night.

caught two trams and headed to prahran.
had a great time at the club with the b-day girl.
her actual birthday.
clearly this makes everything better.

india met us (well me) in there.
danced. :-)
discovered walls with carpet, definitely added comfort.
spent a couple of hours chilling. dancing. talking. not talking.
eventually left the club.
walked from the club to crown.
5.3km. about 1hour.
walked along the tram tracks.
picked up ferns. feared rape.
"if that guy chases us, i'm ditching you"
"but you're our only hope?! i vote if he does we just jump into a bush and hide"
*silence*

got to mention there were a lot of creepy guys out.
that or i just don't notice it as much usually.
"hello babe"
double take.
"nice scalf"
"lookin' fine sexy lady"

okay. point taken.
thank you, i think?

caught a taxi home.
i don't think i have adequetly expressed how much i love spending time with those i was with.
kinda strange, considering until recently i didn't usually spend all that much time with them.
its about time.
we are all awesome.
random night of fun.
laughter.
not to mention photos.

got home about 5ish.
slept 4 to the bed.
didn't fit.
woke with just the girls.
quite strange sensation. not complaining i suppose.

dancer and germany left the house at about 1.
sister left at about 4.30. headed to yabc.
kinda wanted to go with her.
realized it wouldn't be appropriate and was annoyed by this.
blurgh.

have spent the entire afternoon tired.
so tired.
need to sleep.
going to go to sleep nowish because work @ 8am calls.
wish i didn't have to
*think of the pay. think of the pay. think of the pay*
ahwell.

today was a pointless day.
hope you enjoyed reading bloggers.

"Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
actin' like you're somebody else
Gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break
And you take what you get, and you
turn it into
Honestly, you promised me
I'm never gonna find you fake it
No no no"


[complicated. avril lavigne]



forever yours



Wednesday, February 24, 2010

twentytwo.

too late to be bothered with this.
will not be detailed.
at all.

uni. workies.
life.
is that enough? *groan*
usually enjoy this.
not today? huh. maybe not wanting as much attention.

played guitar hero with cynic.
discussed the idea that it would be difficult to multi-task
sex + guitar hero.
may need to try this at some point.
just not right now. haha.
pity.

tired. so tired.
txting til 2am is detrimental to ones health.
yet so unbelievably addictive.
mmm.

today at uni was much better than yesterday.
didn't run into anybody i can't talk to.
which was nice :-)
more peaceful thats for sure.

work was good - got to say my final goodbyes.
strange. thought i had done this already.
didn't think i would again. really.
i suppose it was nice and conclusive.

don't remember the rest of funny things...
so i won't share them.
although i know there were lots...
pity.


"Another tricky situation,
I get to drownin' in the
blues,
and i find myself thinking,
well, what would you do"
[only the good die young. queen]






peace out group.
xx

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

twentyone.

first day of uni.
not actual uni of course
just o – week.
tired again.
maybe because I didn’t go to sleep until 2.
lucky I didn’t sneak out and drive away.
although the temptation was high…
I was a good girl :-)

Anyways, uni.
met cool people in my host group.
played name games.
“kangaroo meat” - definitely don’t know her name still.
but I know it starts with a ‘k’? :-)

also had to list 3 interesting facts about us.
mine were as follows
1. I sing, dance and perform.
2. I’m left handed. And in year 12 wrote a 4000 word essay to explain the correlation between handedness and schizophrenia.
3. I hate unexpected touches to my neck, there are some exceptions, but mostly it’s best to just stay away.
not overly interesting I’m assuming for the majority.
But these people had never met me :-)

walked around the uni.
didn’t listen or pay attention.
plan to just wing it.
i’m better with a map to be honest.
haha.
talked stuff with 2 new people. Funny stuff.
quote of the convo.
“Would you say Harry or Ron is hotter?”
“Harry of course! Who would ever say Ron?!... well I suppose some people have a fetish for red heads”
“eww”
- disclaimer -
none of the quotation marks are my own.
purely an entertained observer :-)

Haven’t decided if I will even bother to go in tomorrow.
Probably should.
I suppose.
Haha.

went to the fair.
Hilarity ensued.
Nando’s condom anyone?
Got a banana flavoured one as well.
Joy – definitely going to be using those soon*sarcasm.*

spent time in union house.
loved the areas only for union members.
looking forward to abusing this. A lot.
ah yay for uni.

calming down slightly about the uni mishap and timetable.
it sucks still.
but I’m coping.

went to south lawn.
talked to people I haven’t had a chance to in ages.
was nice.
definitely remember another funny quote.
“seriously, of all the people I could run into, it had to be them. Its like murphys law or something”
“Murphy-gamble’s law? *pause* okay that was a bad joke…”
yes it was. hilarious none the less.
felt I managed extremely well with the situations I was placed in.
all things considered.

caught the bus home.
momentarily so I could check the map/call for directions.
once directions were had, headed off to work.

seriously way too many of us on shift for the work we were doing.
not that I’m complaining.
meant I didn’t do much.
awkwardness rose however when i ran into a friend of lou’s.
she was angry, and upset. Hilarious really.
I think i’d spoken to her like twice?
Meh. Nice girl. Sweet intentions I suppose.

realized, driving home, I love to sing.
I mean, I knew this already.
but I mean just the action. by itself.
makes me happy.
and in the car I can sing as loud, and as bad, as I like.

like this.
infact I love this.
And I think I forgot this throughout year 12.
I sang too much for school
That I forgot singing for fun.
In the bathroom.
In the car.
Etc.
Ahwell.
Should sleep. Or something.


“do you know whats worth fighting for?
When its not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?"


[21 guns. greenday]



peace out. Xx

Monday, February 22, 2010

twenty.

today was a slight blur.
was informed that i should have been in bed earlier than 3.
busted i hear you say?
hardly.
it was actually 5.21am.
definitely said goodnight at 4 - and kept talking.

haha.
msn convo with india.
started at 9...
this is potentially epic.
however it does mean i have a headache now.



had to handle way too many problems.
woke up to my phone ringing.
ignored the "unavailable" number.
house phone rang.
ignored.
mobile again.
realized maybe i SHOULD answer.
twas vet
cleared up some stuff. discussed uni timetables.
furious.
but that wasn't until later...


met up with bob for lunch.
was delicious.
in more ways than one ;-)
just kidding.
however it was nice to chat with her again.
life is rather complicated.
its nice to chat with my lover :-)


drove to work.
spent an hour driving.
no... rolling.
was shit.
was happy when i finally could drive 70.
mmm.
i love to drive.
mmm.


gave small children their name tags.
and enrollment forms.
and uniform forms.
ultimate part of today?
wearing a cpca staff tag.
hells yes.


seriously though, worth the pay.
i need money.
majorly.
*sigh*
money money money.


got home in 25mins.
gah evidence traffic was bad there.
contimplated why it was that i didn't go back to yabc exactly?
and then i remembered.
allllll too well.


looking forward to the week ahead.
and fearing as well.
should really get some sleep tonight.
i can already tell i won't.
:-)

"one night and one more time
thanks for the memories,
even though they weren't so great
he tastes like you, only sweeter"


[thanks for the memories. fall out boy]







goodnight and goodluck.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

nineteen.

woke up to an alarm.
feels strange.
went to city to meet a friend.
whom i wish to call dancer as well... but i cant.
so she shall be... curls.
texted her saying i was there...
she was asleep.
officially stood up?
caught train to cheltenham to meet her.

discussed love, life, and everything in between.
obviously more of the first.
helped we have some mutual acquaintance to discuss.
was funny. interesting. insightful.
had an amazing hot chocolate (caramello koala flavoured)
and crimpled chips.
yumm.
went to southland.
not a place i usually chill at.
still great.

looked at a lot of accessories.
rings especially.
we both wanted to buy rings.
didn't though.
realized i had no money.
really want to buy a vest.
a denim one.
REALLY want to go op-shop shopping.
lets do it already people!
i could do it myself... but wheres the fun in that?

going to a "sex-themed" o-week party on friday.
really need a costume.
and i dont have one.
help?!

finally going to get to see bob

thank GOD.
:-)
miss her.

realized uni is pretty soon.
have done... nothing to revise chem.
pooor choice.
going to fail.
oh and maths could've helped too...
meh.
:-)

too happy about other things to care.

:-)


"I've got a band new attitude.
and i'm gonna wear it tonight.
i'm gonna get in trouble
i'm gonna start a fight"


[so what. pink]

peace out all.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

eighteen.

well.
today was - uninteresting.
woke at 1.23pm
although the doorbell had gone off many times before then.
and spot decided to slurp a juicebox in my ear earlier still...
why i will never know.
price one pays for sleeping 3 in a bed.
next to spot
i think i was upset because i wasn't in the middle.
it threw me off...

craziness persued last night after posting
(which although the time says 9pm... it was actually about 5am)
we talked and laughed and continued to drink.
spot came with a diabolical prank call.
which i will NEVER condone.
even if it is hilarious.
he would die.
and it would never be fair.
but it is still hilarious :-)

as far as today goes - pretty boring.
been listening to songs i need to know for the melbourne concert i'm going to be doing.
oh god.
freaking out at the difficulty of it.
i really hope i can do it.
i feel like i need to prove myself.
to a large number of people.
stupid.
uneccessary.
but still how i feel.

"the i love you song" - seriously listen to it.
INTENSE.
wow.

read more of "the twelve"
love perfect and feel that i need to see her soon, or i might die.
feel that this afternoon and evening are a blur.
recooperating from the intensity of last night.
realized i miss bob lots.
she's home but i can't see her because the upcoming week is insane.
UNLESS she comes to some of my insanity.
yeaaaah bitches.
haha. its a plan.
now i just need to tell her...

have been looking at cocktails with america
amazing.
was told by her that a certain drink would suit cynic.
looked at the link she gave which ended in the description
"strong, dark and as hot as you can make it"
LOL.

that is all.

could be at a party right now.
currently receiving messages from that party.
wish i could tell my parents.
wish i could have gone.
soon enough. soon enough.
i'll tell them.
well - not everything. but the need to know basics.

well - boring tonight.
sorry readers.

"its true, i love you
chimerical. c - h - i - m - e - r - i - c - a - l.
highly unrealistic wildly fanciful

that is correct
i love you"


[the i love you song. spelling bee]



thats all there is.

Friday, February 19, 2010

seventeen.

well. what an interesting day/night.
day started with cynic dropping rounding.
ran a lot of random errands.
by actual sister AND the post office lady thought we were dating.
"she's yours" is actually what was said.
hmm. interesting.

played guitar hero.
argued with dancer about his lack of wanting to go out.
convinced in the end.
thank goodness.

i suppose thats where the real fun begins.

sister, a friend who shall be named "spot" for now because their identity must remain a secret, and I headed to dancers, a change of plans because he finally decided to come.
his bag got driven to my place.
unfortunately, so did his id.
his mother drove us to my house.
got id.
then went to station.
could have killed him.

finally arrived at melbourne central aprox 12.01am.
fun.
hit up the dance floor like you wouldn't believe.
hot. sweaty. did i mention, fun?
daquiri. tequila slammers. 80's music. fun.
convinced strangers that spot was my sibling.
decided we need to use this again sometime.
was told i should do stand-up because i love to dance...
try to explain that one? :-) haha.
old guy wanted me bad.
awkward...

india met us at aprox. 1.27am.
definite change in atmosphere.
of course "summer of 69" played.
more dancing. slightly different this time.
more fun? :-)

left our awesome night of 80's music and crazy dancing for our own adventure.
walked to crown.
got tired before we got there (okay... dancer got tired)
stairs that smelt like urine.
climbed statues.
gave directions to cookie.
felt wise.
re-energized with slurpees.
1kg of pure sugar.

played blackjack at crown.
met two interesting characters (can one actually go out, and not meet somebody extrememly random)
one interested in musical theatre.
one from germany. always interesting.
stopped at a 7/11 to get nacho requirements.
definitely worthwhile.
killed time with india til final nightrider was to arrive.
time always flys when one is having fun.
said goodbye to india, and the original four bussed home.

spot and dancer fell asleep.
thankfully for us the bus driver stoped at a major road, that wasn't a stop.
yay! didn't have to walk 3k home at 5am :-)
currently eating the amazing nacho's.
dancer is asleep.
so technically the three of us are updating this blog tonight.
5.40am.
i feel a good night was achieved by all.
happy night, i know i enjoyed it :-)
definitely only spent 10 dollars.

how?! ah well.
happiness!

quote:
"i dont think that was even swallow material"
"really shouldn't say things whilst the blog is being written"
"its in the blog"
<3>

"Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life"

[summer of 69. bryan adams]




0ver and out.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

sixteen.

woke at midday.
to a call from the cpca.
offered a job for a week.
heck yes.
money.
confused slightly, didn't ask them for a job.
happy though.
was meant to get an email with infomation.
haven't as of yet...
hurry up already!
:-)

was picked up by cynic for lunch.

went to maccas.
mmm.
good chats.
love that kid.
stopped via video ezy, applied for job.
enjoyed looking at 3dollar films.


caught train into city.
was early.
walked from flinders - melb. central.
love this walk.
the weather was stunning.
felt like autumn.
pleasant.
happy.


met with india.
chatted about movies and his trip and stuff.
went to dinner.
indian, for irony.

went to movie, slightly late.
saw "shutter island"

complete mind game.
still slightly confused.
a fair few "shock" sections...

nearly broke my own nose.
embarassed? yeaaah. i am.


walked the city for shits and giggles.
random ally ways and malls.
i love the city at night time.
completely dead.
seriously more people there at 3am.
banana ally. speaks for itself.

caught the tram home.
boring.
especially in comparison to the rest of my day.
walked the four blocks to my house.
got honked at.
seriously, what is up with that recently?
potentially should have been wearing more clothes for 11pm.
meh. thats no fun. :-)

overall, a good day.

great day in fact.
so my estimate was wrong - by one :P

"tell me, did you fall for a shooting star,
one without a permenant scar
and did you miss me
whilst you were looking for yourself out there"
[drops of jupitar. train]



over and out.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

fifteen.

yet another blog.
i feel i lack creativity with this thing.
i suppose i am a teenager.
dislike change.

today was, interesting.

woke up earlier than i wanted.
typical? yep.
went to glenferrie for "coffee"
actually had hot chocolate.
much better :-)
caramel too.
yummm.

macca's and i talked in the short time we had.
i dropped her at school.
i suck at multi-tasking.
well, specifically, driving and talking.

went home and spent a couple of hours doing nothing.
guitar hero.
talked on facebook.
interesting, and new conversations.
not usually someone i speak to.
however extremely funny.
and nice.
strange.

spent the afternoon/evening with my "bffl" from primary school.
we openned our time capsule.
which included two letters i wrote to her.

extremely awkward.
spent the afternoon together.
it is hilarious how quickly 2 girls can be brought together by one topic.
sex - in case you didn't realize :P
was great catching up.
discussing primary school.
and boys.
"well - he's much hotter than xx"
"totally. not hard"
i love being female sometimes.

mostly hate it.
:-)

decided we should organise a reunion for primary school.
we wont.
but it would be fun.

had dinner with her.

went driving to her place.
tried to watch our home made videos.
couldn't get them to work though.
pity.

they were the shiz.

once home, and alone, planned parties and what not.

now talking with india.
yay.

as such, cannot be bothered updating anymore.


"living well is the best revenge"

[george herbert.]




catch ya.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

fourteen.

Today has been a very simple day.
11pm last night – booty call.
Just kidding.
Went to cynics place.
Poker was there.
Chilled and chatted for hours.
Peaceful, enjoyable.
Discussed details/facts I couldn’t believe were true.
Mind – still – blown.

Slept 3 to a bed again.
This time i was the only female.
Fun :-)


Love the freedom having a licence has.
Father took convincing to let me go.
But all in all it wasn’t too hard.
Suppose he trusts those guys.
Fair point too – obviously nothing would have happened.

all 3 of us discussed my preference of sleeping in the middle.
Doesn’t quite make sense.
But I do have it/do it.
I think it is in-built from camp.
It was always warmest in the middle.
Nobody else wanted it.
I would kill for it.
Haha.
But now its usually too warm.
I feel I usually get the most bed room too.


this is probably the main reason.

Woke too early for my liking.
Pepsi. Splice. Cup of peas = breakfast.
Showered.
Cynic dropped off poker and picked up legs.
Unfortunately heard me singing in the shower.
Awkward.

Watched fergie vs. beyonce on V
Clearly beyonce won.
To be expected.

got paid 100 bucks for my services.
Well no.
Got 100 bucks.
Services were separate ;-)
Just kidding. Obviously.
But I did get reimbursed that money.
Extremely happy I’m no longer broke. This week.

Oh – I have friends that blog too now.
Read their stuff as well - - >

my plans for the day got cancelled for me.
Couldn’t go to lunch because I wasn’t welcome anymore.
Juvenile.
Unnecessary
Painful.

Got petrol.
Trip metre says I travelled 536.1 kms on the last tank.
I felt proud.
I drove all of that.

Took father grocery shopping.
Like the good daughter I am ^_^
Really – it was worthwhile cause he helped pay for the petrol.

can’t believe tomorrow is tomorrow.
If you know me, you will understand.
If you don’t.
You suck.

Went for a run.
Wore my tour shirt and black shorts.
Felt like I was 15 again.
Thankgod I’m not though.
Didn’t realize my body had such an ability to say no.
But it does.
And it won.

Had good chats with Lou when I got home.
Love her a lot.
And miss her.
Twas funny how much I knew.
Really she should have been telling me.
Still, enjoyable none the less.




"because of you
I find it hard to trust

not only me, but everyone around me
because of you, i am afraid"



[because of you. kelly clarkson]



until we meet again.

Monday, February 15, 2010

thirteen.

home at last.
the rest of valentines day was enjoyable.
spent night with soccer and maccas.
watched 8 episodes of o.c.
epic.
forgot how much i loved that show.

definitely discussed boys a lot.
infinitely so actually.
such quotes ensued...

"don't be jealous of me because i'm gonna get some next"
"maybe we will all spontaneously get some"
"when someone says spontaneously, i think combusts"

that and the apropriately used term "egotesticals"

discussed the over hyped sex drive of some.

and their inability to not hit on EVERYBODY.
however, recent events may mean this will hopefully change.
all i can say is - thank god.
i don't want to have to see that.

however in refrence to this i do have something else to say.
"there are somethings that shouldn't be a wall post. thats why messages were invented"
seriously.
also, way to copy me? guess its all you know. haha.

received a valentine message.
:-)

slept 3 in the bed.
extremely hot.
was potentially not wearing a top for some of this crazy heat times...

funny conversations persued
"Sarah. you are hilarious. your thing for red heads"
"am i a horrible person if i say i only like red headed females?"
*awkward silence*

"ooooh... i mean, apreciate their atractiveness. not 'like'... "
"sure you did"

"i did! being red headed suits females better than males!"

but i do think its true.
its not as much an insult to be a 'ranga' if you're a girl.
this is potentially why?
or the male population are horrible to each other.


i'm a horrible person. lol.
i also have a tendency to be passive agressive.
i'm getting better.
maybe not always.
haha.
i guess its my coping mechanism.
i do feel bad though.
because the last thing i want, is to hurt people who don't deserve it.
and no matter how i feel.
likelihood is, they don't deserve it.

day after tomorrow
promising :-)

i am so crazily broke.
its actually a joke.
(that wasn't meant to rhyme)
however there are two people who owe me 20bucks.
so it will be nice once i have that!
and maybe even a job.
but that isn't likely is it? haha.
stupid. grr.

wish i could go on o-week camp.
feel bad that i'm not.
but i really can't afford it.

spent 2 and half hours today at maccas with fashion and vet.
only had 1hour park.
as i got into car, saw parking inspector.
kissing someone.
hopefully didn't book me...
suppose we will find out later.
urgh.

currently obsessed with "still hurting" from the last 5 years.
jason robert brown is a legend.
it is literally my life 2months ago.
i think its nice to be able to say its past tense though.
lucky i didn't hear it earlier.

"Jamie is over and Jamie is gone
Jamie's decided it's time to move on
Jamie has new dreams he's building upon
And I'm still hurting"


[still hurting. last 5 years]





over and out.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

twelve.

woke up after my alarm.
again.
seriously always happens when i need to meet fashion.
managed only to be 1/2 an hour late.
which is a miracle.
picked him up.
drove to fairfield boat house.
wow. that place is awesome.
need to go there again.
expensive.

aesthetically pleasing.
"romantic"
ha. :-P
so many couples being corny.

had a lovely lunch.
vegetarian pizza.
lemon. lime. and bitters.
i'm all class :-)

saw two kids having a giant mud fight.
seriously.
white shirt was black.
wouldn't want to wash that.

that reminds me.
must do some washing.
i keep putting it off.
probably worn my entire wadrobe almost.
i'm just that cool :-)

going out tonight.
girls night celebrating freedom on valentines day.
hence the early post.
watch soap operas.

make dinner.
love the freedom of a licence.
will drive over there soon.

two girls i miss a lot.

soccer and maccas.
can already tell we will discuss boys a lot.
will inform tomorrow if my assumption is correct.



"and I don't want the world to see me,
coz I don't think that they'd understand,
when every thing's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am..."

[iris. goo goo dolls]





sorry guys.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

eleven.

another pretty basic day.
repetative? yeah a little.
my apologies to those bothered to read this.
:-)
only had the starbound dvd for 12hours.
already forced to show family members.
*groan*
spent a lot of the day in my pyjamas.
finally decided i needed to get ready for the 18th tonight.

"beauty and the geek" theme.
kinda wished i was a man.
geek would be fun.

went through my wardrobe to find stuff.
all of a sudden EVERYTHING fits.
its disconcerting.
and awesome!
by everything i mean everything.
dresses i've owned and never worn cause they're tiny.
denim skirts i got in year 8.
the pair of boardies i bought in december.
too big.
its crazy.
and again - awesome!

wearing my "frug" dress tonight.
aka. stolen school property.
but i still really like it.
reason i realized things that didn't fit. do.
worried that a friend may comment about my theft.
meh. it looks cool.

i blame the pressure of being a "beauty"

wearing silver jewellry.
wanted to my t&c ring.
still not able to wear it though.
also - i would have to find it to do that.
somehow managed to get my new ring on...
it definitely didn't fit at christmas.
mildly confused.
still content.

discovered i've lost nearly 5kg in 2months.
definitely the best part about being single.
mother says "must be because you're happy"
so true woman. so true.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ time lapse ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~

many compliments on my dress.
happy making.
was recognised.
didn't matter.
definitely smell like smoke.
awkward.

fun chats with people i haven't seen since school.
funny. strange. insightful.
realize i like people that i didn't all that much in school.
feel bad that the bridge may be too burnt.
well - i suppose only time will tell.
definitely need to organise netball team.
love that game.
miss those girls.

spent a lot of time with fashion
decided to meet up for valentines day.
as the single friends we are.
we're just that cool.
people will probably think we are dating.
this will entertain me greatly.

wednesday draws closer.
yay.

"Will i lose my dignity?
will someone care?
will i wake tomorrow
from this nightmare?"

[will i. rent]


and done.


Friday, February 12, 2010

ten.

well, the rest of last night was fun.
didn't finish trivial pursuit.
many questions.
many new facts learnt.
perfect was amazing at literature questions.
not really surprising.
or "cliterature" if you are dancer.
constantly got distracted.
talking and such.
was fun.
and definitely a bonding experience.

perfect was initiated into the nacho 5.
official replacement.
spent time in/around the spa.
rain was peaceful.
played guitar hero.
finally all moved up to my room.
talked. spooned. laughed.
made up stories.
including a fondled black balloon.
and perfect's rendezvous with mail and milkmen.

saw the beginning of the sun rise.
then we slept.
6.12am.

had interesting sleeping activities.
was thought to be both a blanket and a dog by others in the bed.

i'm just that cool.
got out of bed.
1.02pm

chilled and chatted with those in the morning.
laughed at the dilirium we reached the night before.
many activities we couldn't all remember happening.
funny though.

finally showered and cleaned once others left.
began reading a book.
written by perfect.
this code name is seriously perfect.
barely started, and already impressed.

had internet chat with india
was picked by sister because i was 'smiling'
funny. yet. i hadn't noticed.

left home to see starbound dvd.
i am extremely self critical.
didn't enjoy it much.
enjoyed the whole show though.
very impressive.
wish i thought i fitted in though.
stupid self-concious/depricating nature.

found out uni production clashes with the wedding.
so i can't do it.
absolutely heartbroken.
why couldn't it be a different weekend?


:-(


shows just how much i love her.


"Listening
For the hope, for the new life
Something beautiful, a new chance
Hear its whispering
There again"


[whispering. spring awakening]




the end.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

nine.

hello again.
surrounded by friends whom i love.
perfect, sister and dancer.
had good chat with germany
disagree with race.
concerned if it actually IS a race.
although, explains a lot.

had fun scarying individuals.
especially
captain.
forgot how much i miss her.
favourite red head?
yes. (still love you poker)

spent a lot of time discussing yabc.
the good, bad and the ugly.
interesting talks though.

was able to talk to india intermittenly last night.
was nice.
funny.
yay for cheap alcohol.
however the wine with bugs. i'll pass

enjoy time at the moment.
eating scones.
and chicken.
and nachos later.
and playing awesome board games.
i won. but thats typical.
hopefully spa later.

currently discussing mafia in perfects family.
pretty cool.
i know who i will go to when i need something done.
"we need some sugar"
"lets do something"
yay for friends.
love them a lot.

must go.
trivial persuit calling.
more updates tomorrow.


"And who does Mama teach to mend and tend and fix,
Preparing me to marry
whoever Papa picks?

The daughter, the daughter!"

[tradition. fiddler on the roof]

love them.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

eight.

laid back day.
woken early for exterminator.
4hours sleep = not enough.
drove father to office.
slept for another 3hours at parents work.
on the floor.
felt much better.
although had random dreams.
msn conversation with tom.
woke up wishing it was real.
we were actually civil to each other.
ironic huh?
had lunch with parentals.
drove father home for his nap.
met with bob in her lunch break.
hour long chats about everything.
although mostly boys.
and how little sense they make.
yet how exciting they can be.
but mostly how little sense.

discussed my conversation last night.
where a moral dillema was approached.
was definitely offered money/car in exchange for sex.
didn't accept.
however it does pose the question:
how much would it take?
how much is enough to be worth sleeping with someone you're not interested in?
or is it none at all?
does being in a relationship count as a "cost"?
buying drinks. dinner. presents.
obviously its different for everybody.
but still.
interesting.
went job hunting.
handed in my resume at a number of places.
doubt i will get any.
however, the bar/restaurant staff were mighty fine. french accents.
wouldn't mind working with them.
who knows.
unlikely though.


walked most of the way home.
honking total = 5
including 2 trucks.
1 who waved.
waved back - definitely never met him before.
strange day.
weather was disgusting when moving.
when stationary (and in the shade) was pleasant.


one month of freedom to equate for every year not.
strange. different. new.
i thought i would have said upsetting.
but i dont think so.
clearly intangible progress is being mad.
yay for time.


quote: because i heard it on the radio. and its stuck in my head.
picture: because i love her.

"when you cried, i'd wipe away all of your
tears

you'd scream, i'd fight away all of your
fears,

and i held your hand through all of those
years,

but you still have, all of me"


[my immortal. evanescence]


ciao bella.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

seven.

deja vu.
woke to a phone call i didn't want to answer.
thought it was alarm.
was 7am.
3hours sleep.
4hours before my alarm.

spent the evening last night taking trips down memory lane.
a lot has changed.
long chats with an old aquaintance.
primary school - now. allows for a lot of differences.
propositioned by afformentioned male.
random. strange.
although flattering.

spent today with lolly and vet.
enjoyable.

fun.
swimming and talking.
sleeping beside the pool because we were all sleep deprived.
okay, i slept beside the pool.
ignored 8 phone calls...

went to 7/11.
slurpees and chips. lunch of champions.
reminded of australia day.
vet and i have a thing for 7/11's in our bathers.
wanted to play guitar hero, but couldn't find the adaptor.
impromptu invitation for dinner. practically family.
had dinner.

watched random television - whilst attempting not to sleep.
news of the day is definitely this fun little fact.
america broke television records for most television views.
Because new orleans won their first superbowl.
guess what held the record before that?
the season finale of mash.

mindblown?
it should be.

drove vet home.

creepy man in car staring at us for awhile...
slightly directionally challenged.

got there eventually.
finally got home.
decided to face the music.
called the caller.

still a bit confused...
but thinking situation should be all clear soon.
maybe?
i hope so anyways.
weren't too many lies.only little ones.

i look forward to the return of a number of people.

not long now.

"If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be
There holding my
hand"
[kryptonite. 3 doors down.]



kind regards.

Monday, February 8, 2010

six.

spent hours watching sex and the city.
10 episodes.
and the movie.
thats a LOT of sex and the city.
somehow, rather enthralling.
potentially frustrating.
strange because cynic could quote the entire film.
but, this is cynic we are talking about.

reminded me that i REALLY want to see secret diaries of a call girl.
from start to finish.
preferably with company, however not a necessity.

went to sleep relatively early.
considering my current sleeping patterns.
slept beside a male.
didn't feel threatened at all.
different.
considering all previous events.
alarm woke me, and i did not want to get out of bed.
decided i must.
drove to vets house.
attempted chemistry revision.
she was smart, and didn't throw out her books.
lasted aproximately 30mins.

wii was much more entertaining.
and phallic playdough.
discussed, love, life, this blog, and everything in between.
was enjoyable spending time with her.
came to the conclusion i do not understand boys.
but especially one.
confusing.

realized my week is now busy, pretty much because i was with her.
like this.

also realized the amazingness that will be o-week.
i am probably a little bit TOO excited about this.
i'm way too broke to be excited about partying.
i'm also excited about meeting new people.
fun :-)

oh and SSS throw a foam party.
that is potentially the coolest thing i have ever heard.
i am so excited its unbelievable.
and its in march.
have i died and gone to heaven? maybe.
pity about the actual uni /studying part :P

i feel this year needs to actually start already. but then i realize, it has?
i can think of a number of reasons why it doesn't feel that way though.
not going to uni, for one.
and for two. well.
thats for me to know, and you blog, never to find out :-)
"Don't tell me not to fly, I simply got to
If someone takes a spill, it's me
and not you
Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade"
[don't rain on my parade. funny girl.]




xoxo
gossip girl.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

five.

today is yet to have started.
woke up.
spent time on the internet.
ditched b.ball game for three reasons.

1. i suck.
2. i wasn't 100% sure i was welcome
3. i'm incredibly lazy.

down to the nittygritty's of hens organization.
really really excited.
hoping all plans work out.
bit technical.
also costly.
i'm hopeful people will still come.
i mean
she is so worth it.

about to go to cynics place.
have some quality catch up.
stay there all night.
some good chats in store.
even if he is slightly pathological.

angry at myself.
can't delete my myspace.
annoying.
also really curious who my "internet valentines" are.
facebook doesn't want to tell me though :-(
i know who i would want on the list though.

realized although this week was empty.
next week is full.
this is nice.
i miss everybody.
i hope i manage to fit everybody in.
especially the picnic.
miss those guys the most.
and i saw them the most recently.
ha.

had a long shower.
refreshing.
clothed and waiting to head out.

not much to talk about when you do nothing...
again, i really chose the worst time to start a blog.
should have gone out last night.
the whole $20.45 to my name is the reason i didn't.
how upsetting.

miss bob infinately.
need to see her.
soon.
realize i miss a lot of people.
i suppose this is the realization of no more school.
for now, its an okay price to pay.
as long as i don't miss them TOO much.
(aka i get to see them eventually!)


"Why do we play with fire?
Why do we run our finger through the flame?
Why do we leave our hand on the stove-
Although we know we're in for
some pain?"


[louder than words. tick tick boom]


terima kasih.







Saturday, February 6, 2010

four.

today was another small scale day.
went to melb. uni again.
info session for a small concert i will be in.
got there early.
others arrived late.
probably for the best.
i was proud of myself, being able to at least converse.
fear avoided.
small success.

went to a cafe.
enjoyable.
chilled with new people.
even more enjoyable.

spent 3hrs chillin' and chattin'
discussed yabc, boys and uni theatre.
enjoyable and informative.
went to borders.
decided that the things i wanted were too expensive.

go to library next.
really wanted balderdash.
best game ever.
remembered the invention of the letter 'm'.
realized i miss lou.
need to see her again.

took the bus home.
listened to my ipod.
decided i should remove playlists.
gift 1 -3 aren't really appropriate anymore.
and ragtime.
annoying, 'cause i actually like the music now.
ahwell.

got home, thought i was alone.
accidently woke father.

whoops.
been watching films ever since.
"cloudy with a chance of meatballs"

"couples retreat"
fun :-)


managed to talk to india momentarily.
this was nice.
fun.
happy.
even if it was just facebook chat.

spent the evening organising the hens.
exciting. top secret.
but should be an absolute blast.
hopefully, 'cause she deserves it.
love her more than anything.

hope she knows.
just how amazing i think she is.

in general apreciation of life.
heard todays quote on the bus,
thought it applied.
picture is the hens corset.
in love.

"I'm through accepting limits.
coz someone says they're so.
some things i cannot change
but til i try i'll never know"

[defying gravity. wicked]






sampai nanti.