Monday, May 31, 2010

random.

thoughts.



a. i opened my handbag the other day and had a quick giggle at what was inside.

- about 100 bucks worth of used metcards.
all this year.
thanks uni :)

- 3 pepsi max bottle wrappers.
i have enterted the top gear competition WAY too many times
and i really wanna win too.


- a condom.
but not just any condom. nnooooo
the one that got put in my wallet in year 10 when my locker was broken into.
maybe dont use that...

-a test tube
yeah - found it in the pocket of my lab coat.

clearly evidence of just how cool i am.

-a broken necklack. earing and ring.
more evidence of my hoarding nature.

i break things i like and dont throw it away.
noooo
keep the small shards of absolutely nothing in the hope it can be fixed.
clearly - not.

twas funny.
and kinda entertaining.

had random other thoughts and dreams.
which could mean something.
or absolutely nothing.

kinda wished i still had that lipgloss container that i lost.
dancer - thats a reference to you.

haven't posted in ages.
exam time.
so obviously there is no better way to procrastinate.
no musical to keep me busy.

still have the job though.
that works as painful time waster.
*think of the money* *think of the money* *think of the money*
what money?

every wondered that you might think too much?

or complicate things that don't need complicating.
i do this.
a lot.
a ridiculous amount of time actually is spent like this.

i often say its because i'm female.
but i dont think thats actually fair.

i suppose i just do it.
it just happens.
i keep it controlled
mostly.

but somethings just make me angry.
or upset.
and i can't shake it.
and then i feel guilty.
but should i?
im allowed to be hurt.

and upset.
maybe i am being a sensitive female - but so what?

anwaaaays.

just my thoughts.

hilarious conversations have undergone since i last posted

with an array of different people.

covering:

permission.
and friendships.
loyalties.
homosexuality.
sex.
drugs.
babies.

pregnancy.
parties.

exams.
life.

welll. want more detail - ask me :)

much love and kudos bloggians.

Monday, May 10, 2010

roar.

the title says it all really.

happy.
so exhausted.
great weekend.
best night and day.
falling asleep.

thank you.

naptime is never wasted.
best when not alone.

holding hands.
laughing.


smiling.
dancing.
singing.
watching movies.
fighting playfully.

=]


Wednesday, May 5, 2010

life

I suppose i never really realized just how busy i was.
counted the hours today (specific to this week monday - friday only)

uni contact hours = 21
work hours (paid) = 14
winger rehearsals = 8

total = 43

thats not including any homework i did, or will do.
for example 4 hours on the calc 2. assignment.
or studying for exams.
or doing my two prelabs.
or attempting to be a good student and actually reading the crim. reader

add all that with having a boyfriend and a pretty active social life,
conclusion?
sleep = lacking.

im actually not quite sure how i sleep at all atm.
its intense.
but so very very worth it.

i think, i actually function best when im busy.
weird though, because year 12 broke me.
but something is different.
i can't say what, or why. but it is.
i feel, busy, and stressed, but happy.
i know i'll survive.
better yet - i know its worth it, and that retrospectively i wouldn't want it any other way.

i love being in a musical.
i love uni - even if its somewhat demoralizing at times :P
i love the people i spend majority of my time with, even if at times it feels like its not enough.
i love money and security that comes with having a job.

i wouldnt want to give any of that up.
and so - i sacrifice sleep.

not much longer until winger opens.
14-22nd of may.
buy tickets.

also not much longer til exams.
i finish up on the 11th.
and then 6 weeks of break.
wow.
i suppose we will then see if i really do function best when busy.

what else do i have to say?
i suppose not all that much.
its been less than 12 hours.
but i still miss him.

ah. im such a girl.

enjoy readers.
xx