Wednesday, July 21, 2010

so.

today i realized something kinda cool.

apart from my mother.

there is no drama in my life.


apart from my mother constantly being mad at me.
for being messy.
for being rude.
for not printing.
for being too skinny.
for not being skinny enough.
for working too hard.
for not doing enough work.
for wasting my money.
for not spending it enough.

- make any sense to you?

no me either.

but APART from her.

i dont have any dramas.

nothing.

none.

i suppose it really does come and go.
if you'd asked me about that 7months ago, i do believe i would have said

"my life could write a soap opera"


and some parts of my entire life story, really could. and a damn fascinating one at that.

but right now?

ha. im content.
maybe its because certain people have distanced themselves from me.
i should care.
but then...
im not the rapist.

definitely much, much happier now :)

peace out.
xx

Saturday, July 3, 2010

and.

just like that.
i have 3 jobs.
i passed all my uni subjects.
life should be great yeah?
hmm.
maybe not.
work = painful.
you would think, from all my practice, i would be cool with rejection.

but no.
i just can't deal.
rejection and me. we don't deal well.
even if, in the reverse situation i would definitely be rejecting.
im so not good at accepting it.
seriously something wrong with me.

so i could just quit.
i do have two other jobs.
but this one pays much better.
and if i was good at it, it would work out perfectly.

suppose thats slightly problematic though isnt it?

anyways job #3

sorta just landed in my lap.
a job i've thought id love for a very long time.

and now i just sorta have it...
dancer shifts actually.
i didnt even ask for the job, they called me.
pity though, its only one shift a week. when i could definitely do with more.
thats the problem.
if i could have a definite weekend shift there.
i could quit this crappy job and just have the two.
it would work out well.
that way i could get my certificate 3 and still be earning good money.
without sacrificing my soul.
yes thats how it feels atm.

kinda funny coz the first door i knocked at was actually brilliant.
81 year widowed old man.
who i would LOVE to have as a grandfather.
brilliant.

but no.
no one else was as good as him.
my stomach renches at the thought of going back. but i will be.
2morrow.
yay.
note sarcasm.

i don't know what else to discuss really...
except that now i cannot wait until friday.
beach house.
happiness.
THAT is what i need right now.
i think its going to be strange.
returning to the place where all i can relate to is just how devestatingly heartbroken i was.
the saddest i think i've been in my life
(the thought of that is revolting. such. a. girl.)
and now to go back, happy?

its gonna be kinda wierd.
but i think its good.
see how much can change in 7 months.
so much for the better.
so much against what i thought at the time.
and so thankful that it is.

going out tonight.
saying goodbye to one of the most beautiful people i know.
thankfully only short term...
but still. not short enough.
i'm gonna miss bob.
6months of going out without my single friend.
its just not the same :P
just kidding. im going to miss her for SO much more than that :(
but, she will have a great time i am sure, and im sure that will help me survive her absence.

anyways.
still in crap mood from work today.
so i'm going to go procreate to feel better.
on sims, don't know what YOU were thinking :P
xx

Thursday, July 1, 2010

i passed chemistry 1.

today is a good day.

new finacial year. that must be it.

=]