random.

thoughts.



a. i opened my handbag the other day and had a quick giggle at what was inside.

- about 100 bucks worth of used metcards.
all this year.
thanks uni :)

- 3 pepsi max bottle wrappers.
i have enterted the top gear competition WAY too many times
and i really wanna win too.

- a condom.
but not just any condom. nnooooo
the one that got put in my wallet in year 10 when my locker was broken into.
maybe dont use that...

-a test tube
yeah - found it in the pocket of my lab coat.
clearly evidence of just how cool i am.

-a broken necklack. earing and ring.
more evidence of my hoarding nature.
i break things i like and dont throw it away.
noooo
keep the small shards of absolutely nothing in the hope it can be fixed.
clearly - not.

twas funny.
and kinda entertaining.

had random other thoughts and dreams.
which could mean something.
or absolutely nothing.

kinda wished i still had that lipgloss container that i lost.
dancer - thats a reference to you.

haven't posted in ages.
exam time.
so obviously there is no better way to procrastinate.
no musical to keep me busy.
still have the job though.
that works as painful time waster.
*think of the money* *think of the money* *think of the money*
what money?

every wondered that you might think too much?
or complicate things that don't need complicating.
i do this.
a lot.
a ridiculous amount of time actually is spent like this.

i often say its because i'm female.
but i dont think thats actually fair.

i suppose i just do it.
it just happens.
i keep it controlled
mostly.

but somethings just make me angry.
or upset.
and i can't shake it.
and then i feel guilty.
but should i?
im allowed to be hurt.
and upset.
maybe i am being a sensitive female - but so what?

anwaaaays.
just my thoughts.

hilarious conversations have undergone since i last posted
with an array of different people.

covering:

permission.
and friendships.
loyalties.
homosexuality.
sex.
drugs.
babies.
pregnancy.
parties.
exams.
life.

welll. want more detail - ask me :)

much love and kudos bloggians.

roar.

the title says it all really.

happy.
so exhausted.
great weekend.
best night and day.
falling asleep.

thank you.

naptime is never wasted.
best when not alone.

holding hands.
laughing.


smiling.
dancing.
singing.
watching movies.
fighting playfully.

=]

life

I suppose i never really realized just how busy i was.
counted the hours today (specific to this week monday - friday only)

uni contact hours = 21
work hours (paid) = 14
winger rehearsals = 8

total = 43

thats not including any homework i did, or will do.
for example 4 hours on the calc 2. assignment.
or studying for exams.
or doing my two prelabs.
or attempting to be a good student and actually reading the crim. reader

add all that with having a boyfriend and a pretty active social life,
conclusion?
sleep = lacking.

im actually not quite sure how i sleep at all atm.
its intense.
but so very very worth it.

i think, i actually function best when im busy.
weird though, because year 12 broke me.
but something is different.
i can't say what, or why. but it is.
i feel, busy, and stressed, but happy.
i know i'll survive.
better yet - i know its worth it, and that retrospectively i wouldn't want it any other way.

i love being in a musical.
i love uni - even if its somewhat demoralizing at times :P
i love the people i spend majority of my time with, even if at times it feels like its not enough.
i love money and security that comes with having a job.

i wouldnt want to give any of that up.
and so - i sacrifice sleep.

not much longer until winger opens.
14-22nd of may.
buy tickets.

also not much longer til exams.
i finish up on the 11th.
and then 6 weeks of break.
wow.
i suppose we will then see if i really do function best when busy.

what else do i have to say?
i suppose not all that much.
its been less than 12 hours.
but i still miss him.

ah. im such a girl.

enjoy readers.
xx

the blog has died.

it really has.
i think i know why too.
its no fun writing about your life.
when you can just live it.
i suppose, i could still.
but theres too much to go through now.
to much forgotten.
left unsaid.

so i'm going to update maybe when i feel like it.
but not like i used to.
no.
the blog will be revised and fresh.
its not gonna be a minute-minute account of my life.
but a rendition of thoughts.
maybe emotions.
depends on how much i feel like sharing.
for example.
right now.
i'd rather not share.
not with the blogging community.
no.
just with those who matter.
okay - the one - who matters.

peace out.

[insert interesting title here]

via request i have decided to update today.
request from what seems like a long lost friend, dancer
my fault really.
having not seen him since - well i can't really remember.
when did we last see each other? (not including today)
would have been winger rehearsals.
yep. monday.
wow. that was a long time ago.
although - the break has had that effect.
i've kinda hidden in the bliss of a break
well - spent every moment i could with india
does this make me a bad friend?
potentially.

whilst thinking of what i was going to write about, and how i was going to say it, i realized something curious.
i wonder if my parents read this blog.
and if i wrote about - well things they wouldn't/don't want to know about.
would they say anything?
consequencely outing the fact that they did in fact read it.
or secretly restrict me because of it?
interesting thought.
but no way of knowing.
wish there was a way i could know that they could not read it.
:(
so basically - the conclusion.
this entry is going to be modified/censored on the off chance my parents DO read it.
sad, i know.

basically - i cannot believe it has been one week already.
not since i updated :P
but since i was at uni.
i don't want to go back - i've enjoyed the break, and doing nothing.
and everything.
i should probably start from where i left off.
which was... saturday?
so - sunday.
i don't remember what i did during the day. but it was obviously not a lot. :P
i do however remember the rest of the evening.
india drove around and made me dinner.
toasted sandwiches, cheese and baked beans.
best. dinner. ever.
very nostalgic ^_^
drove via fashions house to pick up the camera i left on friday.
whoops.
afterwards headed to high's house for a bonfire.
or should i say major fire on main road? :P
basically we had an illegal bonfire.
12 foot high flames caused somebody across the road to call the fire brigade.
3 tankers later - it seems our small bon fire is a bit more important
we blamed high, who said god must have liked him this time because. a. it didnt rain and b. his spa heater was working.
yeah. well. you jinxed it didn't you?
the firemen couldn't get through to the property.
thought we were sweet because they couldn't find us, and the tankers left.
20mins later 3 fireman had knocked on the front door and requested to see the fire.
"quick. hide the goon, and grab a hose"
well - ended with just a slap on the wrist.
entertaining that we still cooked marshmellows on the fire, whilst the fire brigade was there.
we're just that cool. :-)
spa and pooled it up for a fair bit.
didn't really drink at all.
although i had to try the "most hideous goon of all time"
umm - yep. eww.
i wasn't drunk either.
i think that made it worse.
left partay at about 1.30ish? i think
headed to india's where i stayed the night.
:-)

left his house early monday morning.
his birthday.
but really early.
aprox. 7am
lucky as it turns out, because he didn't actually inform anyone i was staying.
could have been awkward.
instead i felt like i was doing the awkward morning after sneaking out :P
luckily enough nobody noticed/saw me :P
got dropped at home. whilst india had work.
slept for 3hours. (to counter act the 2 i had the night before :S)
woken up for lunch.
family members and such.
yay for that.
india picked me up once work was over.
had some of our lunch.
went to his place - to chill.
watched some true blood.
time passed and what not.
had dinner of home made pizza.
then went to the pub to meet with some people.
from there we went to one of friends house to chill
played halo.
yeah - okay there is a reason i have not played this before
i suck.
did however have my corpse raped :S
how awesome? not.
was picked up and stayed at india's house again.
this time people knew about it though.
slightly less awkward.
woken up for breakfast in bed.
pancakes. yummmmmmm.
seriously, how'd i get so lucky? ^_^
chilled at india's for the day.
listened to music.
played with the dogs.
watched true blood.
was a fun day :-)
doing not much because we were tired.
its always fun :-)
ended up heading to mine for dinner.
and an amazing spa in the CRAZY storm.
i don't know if you all noticed.
but it rained like CRAZY last night.
honestly, it was intense.
but amazing.
we managed to spend more than 3hours in the spa.
the rain helped though, that way it wasn't as hot.
funnily enough india stayed the night.
he blames me for living too far away.
personally i think its him who lives too far.

today's wednesday.
woke up at 1pm.
worked on chemistry and criminology.
wow. i did some work :P
and then went to rehearsals.
my cousins baby was also born today.
William Frances Slattery.
7 pound 8 ounces
and apparently a very sweet disposition :-)
i look forward to meeting him.

was nice finally seeing dancer again.
(no i'm not just saying that because you requested me to write this)
love that kid.
sometimes i fear i don't tell him enough.
or more importantly show it.
how do you make it clear that you respect somebody?
that you would never want to hurt them (even if you do) and that in your life they are important?
i mean this in more than just him. its difficult to do, how do you make it clear just how much somebody means to you?
its never easy.
and to be honest, i dont think its actually possible.
you can give them an indication.
but nobody will ever know, or understand, how much they mean to somebody else.
funny concept huh?
we live our lives not knowing how much we mean to others.
and others not knowing in reverse.
huh
strange. but true.
:)

wrote a new "about me" section on facebook.
wow - my life is rivetting!
so im going to post it here.
im sooo cool.

"who ever knows what to write in these things?
I'm 18.
an individual.
i love to smile.
singing. dancing. laughing. running (crazy? i know)
for some reason i really enjoy science.
maths. chemistry. physics.
don't question it. its not worth it.
I enjoy spending time with the important people in my life.
im a believer in all things happening for a reason.
so, take life as it comes :-)
as one door closes another opens.
ready, and waiting.
i believe happiness is so much easier to claim when you let it.
don't let other people pin you down.
life is always worth living.
more importantly - nothing in life is worth stressing over, or sacrifising ones happiness for.
lifes too short to be sad.
or stressed.
uni, independence, freedom and change have helped me see that.
it was about time ^_^ "

well - i was going to wrap it up there.
but i had a request for a mention.
i feel a bit like the media with all these requests.
but yes. i feel, i need to mention her because i never have before.
which makes me slightly upset.
one of the most stunning people i know, in fact when talking about her with india, i always have to explain "my hot friend [name]" - he does instantly know who im talking about too.
and he's never met her :P
she has that impression on people.
beautiful girl though. both exterior and interior.
basically i have not seen her in much too long.
good friday, was 3 years since we pretty much became awesomely close.
we went on an adventure.
one of the coolest, and most entertaining adventures ever.
there was weaving of polls. and frolicking in grass.
running up the down esculator.
well - i think only i did that :P
but still.
she is one of the funniest, and kindest girls i've ever met.
and i miss her dearly.
and to be able to have had such an amazing time, the first time i really spent time with her, was evident to me, that we had the potential to be awesome friends.
i still have a letter she wrote me - a little less than 3 years ago now - covered in glitter on my wall.
the day she and i had a glitter fight.
and she did that - just because she knew it would cheer me up.
just because, she knew i wasn't happy and she had the ability to change it.
see, one of the sweetest people, in the world.
i think thats enough of a rant now.
oh - and i realize because i haven't mentioned her before she doesn't have a nickname.
but really
hers already exists.
my dearest llama
that is all.
xox

easter.

happy easter everybody :-)

sorry again for not posting.
i feel i say that a lot nowadays.
you know why?
too busy living ^_^

thought that i would post on tuesday.
i was wrong.
so i suppose i will start with tuesday.

woke up and pressed snooze twice on my alarm.
poor choice as it turned out.
was going on a picnic with india
he got to my house 15minutes after i got out of bed.
meaning?
i was most definitely in the shower.
(tu)
luckily the front door was open.
scrambled together my things before heading off.
it was a very enjoyable day.
sunny with a touch of wind.
bright red picnic rug against the pale green grass.
wicker basket.
home cooked food.
strawberries dipped in chocolate for dessert.
wow.
it is quite nice being driven places too.
after 5hours in a park, we headed to coles.
bought some cat food for the fish.
yep.
a LOT of fish requires a LOT of cat food.
seriously 16kg of cat food.
it was slightly intense :-)
chilled back in yarrambat.
ended up staying for dinner.
and seeing the film
bounty hunter.
yeaah - i've seen better films in my life
funny though because high (previously known as ranga, but i feel this is a better nick name :P) couldn't spend his broken 20 dollar note.
went to coles just to buy something with it.
i got a chuppa chup ^_^
i love those things.
got home around midnight.
thats 12 hours out.
was overall a pretty good day :)

that was tuesday.
wednesday.
well. that feels like a long time ago.
i went to uni.
long day as usual for a wednesday.
did my criminology reading for the first time.
wow - i love that subject.
its a bit sad. but i do.
got a call from sister during my physics tute.
didn't answer.
but when i DID talk to her...
turns out she thought i was on drugs at foam
this is majorly entertaining to me.
it was something to do with the pictures.
but no.
i wasn't on drugs.
except alcohol of course.
and life.
life a drug now? :-)
entertaining to say the least.
india came over for dinner.
brought dessert his dad made.
yummmmmmmmmmmmm.
we watched 27 dresses
and 10 things i hate about you.
twice.
he fell asleep on the couch.
safe to say, he stayed over :-)
then it was thursday.

spent the day with lou
played guitar hero.
and actual guitar
had toasties for lunch.
played spit.
gossiped about love and life
girl time is well required sometimes.
it blows my mind how young she is sometimes.
still love her dearly.
and was so glad i got to spend time with her.
sang some delta goodrem in the car too.
lovely :-)

drove from her house to yarrambat.
slightly poetic in a way.
old to new? yeah well - i thought so at least :P
games night.
entertaining night.
snakes and ladders.
and goon :P
wasn't drinking because i drove. obviously.
interesting events occured.
played some cranium.
my team won. obviously.
highlights:
high wearing his snuggie/just being...
india "hey its like a webcam, but we're both here"
me "its not like a webcam at all"
disappearing behind a mattress and underneath a pool table.
people not having a clue where we were.
funnn :-)
bob dropped around as well.
twas nice to see her.
drove her home to my house.
had grand girly talks in my bed.
was sexy-time.
but seriously, love her.

and then we have friday.
wow - this is going to be a long update. haha.
friday was good friday. duh.
family came around.
lunch at my house.
i drove caro to hers.
so she could feed the cats.
shower.
water the garden.
all that jazz.
went back to mine.
wasn't kidding. 30ish family members.
sweeet.
good food though.
didn't really eat enough...
i know this because of later :P
went to fashions just to chill.
well - drink.
bottle of vodka later...
my motor skills were a bit lost.
bob, high, legs, fashion and cynic.
high school people.
that i love spending time with.
was grand to see them all.
dancing. singing. and watch gaga vids.
hilarious times.
drunken text messages to india meant he drove to meet us.
i am such a needy girlfriend. lol.
overall it was a great night.
love them all lots.

yesterday was saturday.
rather chillax'd day.
cynic picked me up.
had maccas for lunch.
we're so healthy :P
then went to his place.
watched 5 episodes of true blood.
epic show.
very sexual.
rather intense.
need to watch the rest now though...
ahwell.
watched space jam
omg - i miss the 90s.
played pool after that.
my sleep deprivation (having only slept 4hours on fashions couch) made it quite difficult.
i did win one game.
oh the wonders of cynic sinking the black first go ^_^
haha.
saw poker for approx. 3 mins.
was nice to at least get a hug.
need to see him more.

well - i suppose thats everything?
hehe.
going out tonight again :)
which is nice.
busy tomorrow also.
i love easter break :)

this leads me to my rant of this blog.
i love uni.
in that - i love not being in high school.
i don't know if you've heard the propaganda.
"high school is the best time of your life"
yeah - well.
those people forgot about uni, or at least the stage between high school and uni and then early uni.
seriously.
freedom.
studying subjects i actually like.
talking to people i actually like.
meeting new people.
spending time with new people and friends, and being happy.
not being judged for being myself.
not being stressed.
still sleep deprived... but its a choice. and it makes me happy :P
in a wierd way.
i think its because i can be sleep deprived now, and know that its my own decision, everybody else is too, and nobody is going to think less of me because i am. well nobody who matters.
and everybody else - meh. need to learn to have fun sometimes ^_^
i love having my licence.
i love being able to do what i want.
when i want.
i love being happy. funny that? :-)
2010 loves me.
and i love it.
and it loves me for loving it.
and i love it for loving me.
*adaptation from chicago*
well - i think thats all i have to say for now.
haha.
i always think of things to discuss here.
but never do.
and by discuss, i obviously mean rant.
ahwell - that is all for now.
enjoy happy readers.
and go eat chocolate.
i think i should take my own advice.
doesn't quite feel like easter, i've eaten approx. 0 chocolate today.
hmmm.
easter bunny got me clothes instead.
hehe yay.
way better.
was exciting because definitely a size i haven't worn in ages. try like... year 8.
went to go shopping today (as absolutely NONE of my clothes fit anymore)
but everywhere was closed.
the negatives of losing weight.
meh thankgod for the invention of belts.
its definitely worth it. haha.
annywaaays
im off friends.
xox

happy.

so i'm at uni.
again. (i do tend to come here a lot, its sort of the way :P)
and have time to kill before more winger rehearsals this afternoon.
don't really have that much to comment on, since i said most of what has happened in my life this past week.
I went to rehearsals yesterday
played one of my favourite games
sitting in a circle of chairs, person in the middle ask somebody "do you like your neighbours?" if the answer is no the two people beside must switch places, if they say yes, they have to give a clause, of people that they don't like, and then anybody who matches this description must stand up and move to a chair now also vacant. All the while the person who was in the middle must find a place to sit.
twas hilarious.
the director of the shows example was,
"yes, but i don't like red heads"
- "theres nobody in the cast with red hair"
- "yes well, there is a reason for this"
definitely entertaining.
its the 80's, there was no such thing as ranga then :P
nawww. poor rangas.
lol.
oh - after deciding to start a blog i have been told the computer lab closes in 15minutes.
how upsetting.
i will probably not finish this now - or even tonight... will be funny when i do post it.
slightly aggrivating that the timestamp is when i started writing, not when i post.
especially when there are days in between.
lol.
sorry - rannting :P

i think i'm coming down with a cold.
probably because of foam.
but i refuse to admit its because of foam, because i loved it so.
:-)

only one more day of uni this week - and then BREAK!
yay.
wish i was going camping. that would be sweet.
i need to get away i think.
not until winger is over though.
i can wait.
just :P

i often feel - this blog seems so depressing, but its not meant to.
my silly/quirky style of writing short sentences - doesn't convey well i feel.
*shrugs*
i suppose it doesnt help its the internet.
everything just seems unfortunately emo.
lol.

had a discussion, awhile ago actually, with maccas about glows.
and how people have certain glow about them.
and if you are sad/lonely/stressed it disappears.
well - being an unfortunately natural smiler... i feel i have this.
i smile/laugh a lot.
like right now for instance.
i look out the window next to me, over the university with a beautiful view, and can't help but smile.
i love this place.
i love not having high school and all its unfortunate stress.
i love the people i spend time with here.
i love what my life is like now.
and it makes me smile.
what was my point?
well - the internet doesnt convey that.
it doesn't show just how happy i am, whilst stating facts.
facts can be happy :-)
especially if you have a mathematical brain like mine.
i suppose - its just how i roll.
obviously its not the same for everybody. lol.

ahhhhhhh
i don't really know why im so gleeful this afternoon.
maybe its the caffeine.
maybe its the fact i finished my assignments.
and my chem ILT.
or maybe, just maybe.
its because this is what life should be like.

happy.
yeah. i think i'll post now
yay for quick entries :P