I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me
It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me
i caught a bus today.
alright - i do this quite often for uni.
but today i did it for leisure reasons.
how i do not miss having to catch public transport all the time.
i suppose its bizare.
but i don't see how everybody does it.
whilst i actually enjoyed catching the bus today.
because the weather was beautiful.
and i wore shorts and a singlet.
okay - this was probably because i wanted the weather to be good.
better than the never ending winter we've had.
seriously - could it have been any longer?
but back on to my topic.
i don't know how people my age, can stand not having their license.
i drive to work. x 4.
i don't drive to uni - because it would be a death sentence.
but i drive everywhere and anywhere i can.
freedom.
to do as i feel.
i hate how limited it is because i don't have my own car.
but not to have my licence?
would be killer.
well - maybe not. but definitely a lot less convienent.
have work tomorrow.
first proper work shift i've had all holidays.
which in itself is bizare.
seems majority of my jobs end with holidays.
makes sense from cpca point of view.
trying to quit brumbys. so i cant complain about that.
turns out my second job is hiring.
bought a new booth.
party@funkyfotobooths.com
email them if you want a job.
its pretty good.
definitely can't complain.
hope you are all well :)
the bane of my existance. the best things in the world.
the reason i survived a night without my boyfriend.
the reason i love another night with legs and cynic
2 bottles of wine.
brie.
home made burritos for dinner.
apple pie dessert.
toy story 3 uno.
playing pool.
discussing life.
sex. love.
and everything in between.
mmm.
in relation to legs blog (one which i suggest EVERYBODY read)
it was an evening.
a moment.
that i was able to enjoy it within the moment.
and how i love them both for it.
brunch of champions.
salami and cheese toasties.
cookie dough and then cookies.
more toy story 3 uno.
enjoying conversations i have longed for awhile.
and that is why,
some friendships - are overwhelming.
So.
It was a fairly hectic weekend.
house warming of one of the coolest people i've met at uni on friday night.
drinks and walking around carlton.
entertaining :)
spending time with cynic and legsit had been a while.
getting home and squishing the 3 of us into one bed.
it was joyous :)
although.
slightly frustrating, because 3rd wheeling, is okay, if you know you have your own partner to hold onto sometime soon.
that was slightly upsetting to realize it was not the case :(
less than 50 days now.
just.
blurrrghhh.
saturday, well, it was the grand final of course.
i was meant to have work.
or so i thought.
got there - realized nobody else was - and discovered its next weekend.
awkward?
i think so.
saving grace?
i spent pretty much the entire afternoon and night skyping with india - in china :P
thank goodness for that.
although.
its much like when i was younger.
i never felt home sick because i never spoke to my loved ones whilst i was away.
i feel like one of the other children now.
as much as i love talking to him, and seeing him.
it doesn't help that fact that i wont get to actually touch him again, for quite some time.
:(
yesterday. sunday. my cousin got married.
my cousin - closest in age to myself.
she is 20.
i feel so much older now.
have i really reached that stage in my life?
when people start getting married?
you know what i mean.
theres the 18ths, and 21sts, and then marriage?
how did i get to marriages, before 21sts?
gah. i feel so old.
it was a beautiful wedding though.
outside.
beautiful sunny day.
could not have asked for anything greater.
and she deserved every moment of it.
i do wish them all the best.
they are an amazing couple.
trish and rikki (chad).
i realized something else.
in the past 12 months i've been to 3 weddings.
and never been single at any of those times, but yet went alone to all of them.
this was however, in all my history of weddings,
the first time i was at a reception completely alone.
having no one to dance with, when all the couples get up to dance.
it kindof makes me miss him all over again.
just somebody to be there.
*sigh*
being less girly as of...
NOW.
:D
on my way back to gossip girl.
finally seen all of season 3.
onto the two epsiodes of season 4 that are out.
i'm actually upset.
i dont like having to wait for episodes to be aired.
i can only really watch television shows all at once...
sortof like a really long movie.
anyways - this was procrastination (so whats new)
so i best get back to my chemisty. :/
 |
| For Rikki and Trish <3 |
you make me all sweaty.
when i leave, i can barely walk.
I constantly hate you, and wish never to see you.
and yet, when i do, i know its for the better.
i feel better.
happier even.
and yet i know next time my alarm goes off i wont want to get out of bed.
but i will. (hopefully)
and the cycle continues.
i am of course talking about the gym.
that lovely place.
which i have not been in much too long.
i think its interesting.
that i feel this way about it.
i know i'm putting myself through a slight element of torture everytime i go.
but i enjoy it so much.
it makes me feel alive, and happy.
that would be the endorphins talking.
but seriously.
why then, when i should know how i will feel afterwards, do i constantly have to force myself to go?
to find the time?
i have plenty of time.
and yet i tell myself i have none...
its ridiculous.
and lazy.
but also curious.
what is it, that makes us act this way?
i would like to blame society.
but i know thats not it, well not completely anyway.
so what is it?
good question.
maybe that biological instinct to protect oneself from harm...
i mean, it DOES hurt, given thats the point.
but still.
wouldn't biology be able to see in the long run (lol pun) its saving my life?
clearly not.
anyway, thats my little confusing, somewhat philisopical question for today.
off to party down with the girls tonight.
well if vet is alive by tonight...
:(
exhaustion.so i got a new layout.
because i felt like a change.
also a new title.
because in all honesty.
i dont think i was ever "ending silence"
or maybe to begin with.
but i dont NEED to anymore.
probably because i am much happier now.
but anyways.
new title.
new layout.
may change it again soon.
just couldnt bring myself to change it TOO much.
i was quite attached afterall.
xx
p.s i don't think its a coincidence that when my boyfriend has been out of the country i've been much more attached to this... not in the slightest.
