love hate relationship.

you make me all sweaty.
when i leave, i can barely walk.
I constantly hate you, and wish never to see you.
and yet, when i do, i know its for the better.
i feel better.
happier even.

and yet i know next time my alarm goes off i wont want to get out of bed.
but i will. (hopefully)
and the cycle continues.

i am of course talking about the gym.
that lovely place.
which i have not been in much too long.
i think its interesting.
that i feel this way about it.
i know i'm putting myself through a slight element of torture everytime i go.
but i enjoy it so much.
it makes me feel alive, and happy.
that would be the endorphins talking.
but seriously.
why then, when i should know how i will feel afterwards, do i constantly have to force myself to go?
to find the time?
i have plenty of time.
and yet i tell myself i have none...
its ridiculous.
and lazy.
but also curious.
what is it, that makes us act this way?
i would like to blame society.
but i know thats not it, well not completely anyway.

so what is it?
good question.
maybe that biological instinct to protect oneself from harm...
i mean, it DOES hurt, given thats the point.
but still.
wouldn't biology be able to see in the long run (lol pun) its saving my life?
clearly not.
anyway, thats my little confusing, somewhat philisopical question for today.

off to party down with the girls tonight.
well if vet is alive by tonight...
:(

exhaustion.