to my faithful blogians.

had an interesting conversation with somebody who shall remain literally nameless.
for their own safety really :P
about blogs.
and specifically about people discussing MY blog.

i do believe it was quoted as "insightful"
well. yes. that sort of IS the point.

anyways - it brought me to realize there are a few things i must discuss.
you, blogger who reads but knows very little about me, are probably coming to some very incorrect assumptions.
actually - i know you are.
not everything in my life revolves around one incident.
it doesnt.
nor does anybodys.
we all must learn from past experiences that we have lived.
and of course they will always affect us in someway.
doesn't mean they drive every decision, or more importantly, every emotion we have.

for example, anybody who knows me, or has spoken to me would know my last blog was about a performance im in, and feeling self conscious/stressing about.
not what you all probably assumed.

i just went through a lot of my old blogs.
reading things i wrote.
and it baffles me a little - but a lot of things are not references to what you would/do assume.
this annoys me slightly.
but then is kinda entertaining at the same time.
because its almost as if you believe my life was dictated by one changing moment.
which is partially right.
the past few months have been extremely different to how i would ever have expected.
except, not because of the one reason you think. but because of many.

for example, the last time i felt heartbroken was because i didn't think my best friend wanted to speak to me. i was wrong.
clearly being extremely female.
but it was a comment on that.
not what you all seem to assume.
in actual fact i try to keep as much of that out of my blog as possible.
because if you read this purely to find out about that...
well.
a. you are sad.
b. maybe you should just talk to me?/ask me about it?

*sigh*

that would be too difficult though wouldnt it.


ahwell. ending rant now.
i suppose i shouldn't have to defend myself to the blog reader.
its all your choice to take it how you will.
but just so you know - you're wrong.